I cleaned my room tonight— which lead to drinking a big cup of wine (let’s face it, no one wants to do such a banal task on the wagon). Anyway, I’m sitting here with a half-cleaned room but what I did accomplish are the following things: 

1. Looked through old photos (found some nasty gems) 
2. Wore high heels and practiced booty drops in front of the mirror
3. Put 6 different lotions on my skin (I smell like a middle school girl with an undefined scent)
4. Dancing, lots and lots of dancing 
5. Drank another cup of wine (ehhh?) 
6. Squinted and followed every major Interstate with my finger on my very large map of Pennsylvania
7. Examined my tongue in the mirror for about 15 minutes (that thing really is terrifying up-close)
8. Day dreamt about boots
9. De-high heeled and put on boots
10. Did 100 sit-ups just to prove that I could
11. Fixed my heating vent, with a screwdriver, while laying on my back, with one hand, for no reason
12. Picked 19 bobby pins out of the cracks in my floorboards (I guess this can be considered ‘cleaning’)
13. Thought about the first boy I kissed for about 4 seconds
14. Thought about him again when I typed that
15. Drew little pictures for all of my roommates to open their doors to

That about sums it up I guess. I cleaned half of my room, which is much better than none of my room (which was the original plan). New List! Things that are inappropriate to do at the gym:

1. Cannonball into the lap pool
2. Count your reps by slicing lines into your forearm with a box-cutter
3. Make a joke (of any kind) or smile in the MeatZone
4. Refer to work out machines as “this motherfucker”
5. Look anyone else in the eyes
6. Finish a rep of twelve and let out a loud but languished, “guhh 100!”
7. Wear UGG boots
8. Dance (unless you’re taking Hip-Hop Fitness on Monday nights)

I was the funniest person out there tonight.